New Poems...

Wowzers!  I haven't blogged in almost a year.  I completely forgot I even had one until a stranger messaged me on my Facebook Fan Page: "Good day friend, as I observe you no longer use the www.facebook.blogspot.com blog, I would perform a request to transfer me to the blog I manage, thanks."  Okay...I have no idea what Carluis Perez Contera means by this, but I figured I'd post something in his honor!  Here's a few recent poems I wrote...(I'll probably start using this blog again strictly for my writing projects)

Late

I've complained about loneliness before.

I have written poems that have made the reader pity me.

I have publicly challenged people to hang out with me (thanks Facebook).

I have been frustrated at never having a girlfriend.

I have sat alone at home many a Friday night wondering why.

I finally have a new answer:

I do everything last minute.

I never plan.

I'm always a step behind.

See, tonight it hit me.

A text:

“I like that you are spontaneous (ooo, I like where this is going),

But I just generally make plans (then you don't really like that I'm spontaneous)

At least a day before (man, I'm always a day late then)

I just feel bad I keep telling you no” (me too...)

Finally some honesty!

Hey, I need to improve just as much as the next schlub.

Wow. I knew I was late to lunch meet-ups, auditions, and to shows,

But it was usually no big deal...otherwise there would be consequences.

But this-
This is being late to the point where all the doors
Have been shut since the rooms are already being occupied.

I am the problem.

Good. I thought I'd have to blame someone else again (that gets exhausting after a while).

I gotta start to schedule, plan.

I mean, I can't be spontaneous with an empty hallway.

Shit.

Today, I prepare for tomorrow, so tomorrow won't be like today.

Delusion

I had a dream about her.

I found her hidden key and broke into her apartment.

Thinking I was going to be romantic, I prepared her living room for an intimate evening for two.

Then I realized- she might not look at this as cute.

I quickly tried to putting the rose peddles away and blew out the candles-

Knowing this was a huge mistake.

I need to leave before she arrives-

Too late.

The key was in the door, turning.

I had no where to go.

She freezes in the doorway.

Scared and helpless I looked into her panicked eyes.

Angry yet sympathetic, she asks the obvious:

What are you doing here?

“I can explain- please don't call the police.”

No. You need help.

She dials 911.

Extreme for a friend-

But necessary.

I crossed the line.

In my last attempt to show her how much I love her,

I had driven her away for good.

Maybe if I would have just waited until she called

There still would be a chance for her to come around.

For her to love me.

I anticipate my alarm and wake up.

Closing my eyes again, I try to finish the life-like dream-

I want her to pour her heart out before the police get there

So I can plan my real life accordingly.

I close my eyes tighter.

Doesn't work.

I couldn't get back into the scene without making it up.

And now I'll never know the most important part:

Why she never returned my texts, phone calls, Facebook messages.

Why she encouraged me love her through physical touch, laughter, sharing personal stories.

Why she rejected me.

This dream shook my heart awake from fantastical slumber.

Because if we're ever going to happen,

It shouldn't be this hard.

Wake up.