Wednesday, November 27, 2013

We Are Robots

Ah, the trials of pursuing an acting career!  Here are the realities of chasing what the unknowing would call "The Dream."  Hopefully "Stay In Character" and the Spoken Word piece "Extra By Way Of Specking:* Day 1 (Welcome To The Dream) provide some insight on the entertainment industry.

*Specking- slang for those who are not hired for a job but show up to the job site anyway in hope that if someone already hired does not show, they can work in the absent person's place.




Stay In Character

Thank you for your time! It was great meeting you!”
Forced smiles have become natural as she waves goodbye to her next hope at living the dream,
Of getting one step closer to that one role that would make all this worth it.
She closes the door without turning her back the casting directors-
Leaving them with one last image of her cast-able face
(She's been trained well).
Once safely out of the room she releases a muffled sigh-
Not out of the clear yet.
Don't give them an excuse to throw your headshot in the trash.
The receptionist, casting associates, the intern-
One wrong move....
If she's not professional, smiling, responsive,
The blacklist is waiting.
She's replaceable.
There are thousands who look like her.
She knows this.
Fears this.
Ignores this
Because out of all these pretty girls,
She has to believe her
Hair shines brighter, eyes spark more intrigue and curves attract extra attention.
They have to...
They must.
She's going to make all the right moves and meet all the right people.
Otherwise she might as well move back home and live the life she knows
(Her mother wouldn't mind).
Thank you for your help!”
The receptionist is on the phone and gives her a nod with a instinctual smile.
She walks through spotless glass doors to the outside, swings a right, and
Takes in a deep breath of smog-soaked air
With the looming sun-drenched sky beating down on her-
No sign of happiness,
Just relief.
She walks briskly- the last thing needed is another parking ticket.
Approaching a '91 Toyota Camry with three missing hubcaps
And a peeling, unrecognizable college window-sticker,
She opens the door, gets into the sauna and quickly rolls down windows.
Air conditioning stopped working four years ago-
Which was when she considered majoring in elementary education.
She starts the car with three and a half turns of the key
And quickly pulls out of her metered spot on Highland.
She has 13 minutes before her shift starts.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Reflections On Moving Forward


As I'm in the process of writing a new spoken word piece titled "Let Go," check out my other reflections on using the past to move forward.



From Same Page To Different Book

What happened to that acquaintance who exclaimed "Let's hang out!",
Then never responded to my text?
How about that co-worker who confined in me when his Dad was dying,
Then never brought up anything personal again?
Why did she say she wanted to date,
Then start dating someone else?
Lost connection. Miscommunication. Not worth it.
I need to know where I'm losing people.
Why do first impressions matter if the long term isn't valued?
I need to love and be loved.
And so do you. Just not by me.
My ego wrestles with practicality:
I'm not as desirable as I hoped.
I was a fad, mistake, or someone to hold you over
Until you found an acceptable support system-
I was tolerated.
What hurts the most is
We had a connection that meant more to me than you.
I am embarrassed at being left out in the cold
When the door was propped open just a feeling ago.
And I'm sorry,
The careless "I've been super busy" excuse
Doesn't work on me.
You take time for what is important.
In the moment I was important,
But being convenient is emptying.
So as I mourn my loss,
I force gratefulness on your gain.
Thank you for the connection we shared before you
Found more meaningful relationships to pursue.
My only regret is taking our moment
For granted by assuming
It would never stop.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Dear Brothers and Sisters...

So far, I have 8 Spoken Word pieces on YouTube.  Here is the second one I posted titled "Weakness Strengthened By Audrey (What Else Is New?) - a salute to all the strong women in my life:



And here's my most recent poem...

Need Vs. Want

“Want to come over and watch the game?”
It's not about football- I could just as well not watch the Vikings lose again.
It's about what happens in between snaps.
Conversation. Thinking out loud. Serious and ridiculous.
Adverting potential loneliness is always welcome with two single, hopeless romantics.
But quoting Seinfeld, going on rants,
And making fun of commercials (while wanting to be in one)
Are moments of purpose.
We're not solving world problems. We are creating trust.
So when one of us celebrates, it will be meaningful.
And when one of us gets pissed, we can calm the other down.
This is friendship.
And although my heart aches for a girlfriend, wife, family-
I'm happy.
Happy to know that watching the game
Isn't a waste of time.